


I Wasn't Fast Enough

by CaptainDemetrios



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Bad Hawke, Bad Thoughts, Hawke who told Anders to get out anyway, Heavy Angst, M/M, Not my main universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 03:02:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8428939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainDemetrios/pseuds/CaptainDemetrios
Summary: Fenris goes with Hawke to Skyhold and meets Cole





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Im crying so now you're crying too

Fenris arrived at Skyhold with Hawke. He was there as a bodyguard and strategic advisor in a time of need, but he was itching to get back to his own personal work at the Tevinter border. 

 

Hawke and Fenris met up with Varric, and even saw Cullen, along with a strangely quiet boy named Cole. Fenris grunted at Dorian, a Tevinter mage varric says ‘isn’t so bad, really, give him a chance.’ And of course, the Inquisitor. 

 

The Inquisitor was asking Varric and Hawke about Kirkwall. Fenris frowned. He didn’t want to talk about Kirkwall.

 

“I don’t know where he is, and I don’t want to know” Varric was telling the Inquisitor. 

 

“I shouldn’t be here. I’m not wanted here. I never was.” Cole said suddenly.

 

“What? Don’t be ridiculous kid, of course we want you here” Varric said. Fenris looked up at the odd boy sharply. Those words were too familiar to him.

 

“I shouldn’t have come, they don’t want me here. No one wants me here. “ Cole continued.

Fenris stared.

 

“Oh, he must be reading someone’s thoughts. He… does that.” Cullen dismissed. Fenris’s eyes widened. He grabbed Cole’s shoulders.

 

“Hey, Broody, he isnt hurting anyone!” Varric jumped up to defend the spirit.

 

“Where?!” Fenris demanded. “Where is he? Those thoughts, where is he?”

 

“Fenris, what’s gotten into you?” Hawke said. Cole pointed towards the gate to Skyhold, where figures walked in and out. Fenris spotted a tall cloaked figure and ran down the stairs.

 

“What the hell..?” Hawke watched

 

“I found you I found you” Cole said. “Finally, I found you again… Amatus.”

 

Everyone looked to Dorian. 

 

“Isnt that a Tevene word?” 

 

Dorian looked surprised too and nodded. 

 

“It’s… a term of endearment. It means ‘beloved.’”

 

Fenris was nearly at the cloaked figure, heart pounding.

 

“But Fenris isn’t seeing anyone.” Hawke said. “He never has.”

 

Cole didn’t answer. Fenris reached the cloaked figure and spun him around, pulled down his hood… But an unfamiliar face stared back. Fenris apologized quickly and let go of the frightened stranger. The stranger hurried away, and Fenris turned back to the others. He returned much slower than he had left, and the others soon continued their planning.

 

“I wasn’t fast enough,” Cole said to Fenris. Fenris thought back to Kirkwall, to the explosion. To the man he loved fleeing for his life.

“No, I wasn’t.” Fenris said. He pat Cole’s shoulder. “Thank you.” 

  
Fenris walked away from the group, and wasn’t followed. 


	2. Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By popular demand, Fenris reunites with his Amatus

Fenris was quiet during the meetings. When he was asked for input he gave it, but he looked distracted. 

 

Maybe HE didn’t belong here either. 

 

The Inquisitor soon demanded a break for the night and everyone went off to bed. Hawke was asleep as soon as they hit the pillow. Fenris couldn’t sleep. He stared up at the ceiling of thought of KIrkwall again. 

 

Varric had tried to prod Fenris about who his ‘amatus’ was, but Fenris refused to speak about it. 

 

He couldn’t sleep. Fenris slipped out of bed and went outside. It was cold and snowing, and Fenris didn’t even have boots. He didn’t care. Maybe his amatus would come back. Maybe he could finally catch him if he was alone when he came back.

 

Fenris sat against a stone wall, in the cold, for hours. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but the snow had risen around him when he opened his eyes again.

 

A cloaked figure wrapped a blanket around his shoulders. 

 

“Are you insane, you blasted elf? You don’t even have boots! You’re going to freeze to death.” The cloaked man said and shook his head. He brought magic fire to his hands and rubbed them against Fenris’ feet. 

 

Fenris grabbed the hood and tugged it down. 

 

“Anders.”

It was him this time. Looking weary, and hungry, and maybe scared… but it was him. Anders’ eyes filled with tears as he smiled.

 

“What, were you looking for me?”

 

Fenris had no intention of letting him go again. He held tight to his shoulders and kissed him passionately. Anders picked him and carried him to an empty building.

 

“I didn’t think you’d want to see me again.” Anders admit while he tried to warm the shivering elf.

 

“My life is incomplete without you, Amatus.”

 

“I can’t stay here, Fenris. You know I can’t stay here.”

 

“Then we won’t stay.”

 

“What?”

 

“We’ll leave.” Fenris put a hand on Anders’ cheek. “Tonight. We are not wanted here, so we won’t stay. I’m not letting you go again, Anders.”

 

Anders kissed him and held him so tightly Fenris almost couldn’t breathe

  
“Where will we go?”

 

“It doesn’t matter. We’ll have each other.”

 

“If we’re going to travel in this weather, you’re gonna have to wear boots.” Anders said suddenly. Fenris laughed.

  
“Fine, I will wear boots.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that helped everyone's hearts! Dont forget to comment!


End file.
